The Foodie Mailman: 10 things I learnt as a delivery driver

image source

For the last month I've been putting myself to work takeaway delivery driving. I've dubbed myself a Foodie Mailman (Mailwoman? Doesn't have the same ring to it...) - bringing you hot dinner quicker than Amazon can Prime you a ready-meal. It's been an interesting experience and given me a great insight into how the whole thing works. I've learnt what's good about the job, definitely what's bad about it and that it's something I would actually do again in the future for a few extra quid in the pocket. I'd recommend it for you too! Yeah, you spend the evening delivering tasty food instead of eating it, but the smell of it still lingers, you're earning some money, and hey, there's always a chance of a free Chow Mein at the end of the night ;)

Read on for my top 10 things I learnt from my month long stint!

1. People are never prepared.

When I order a takeaway, I get my money ready and listen out for the doorbell. Other people, apparently, don't do this. I've had so many surprised "Oh.... oh yeah..."'s when a customer has opened the door, followed by, "Uh, let me just get you the money." PRAY TELL, WHO ELSE ARE YOU EXPECTING AT 10:30PM!?

2. House numbers are impossible to see in the dark.

Especially when your house is set back from the road behind gates and/or bushes. Not only does your house number not have a light over it so I can see it in the dark, it's also small, coloured black or completely non-existent. I beg of you customers to buy a light. Pretty please.

3. New builds are mazes.

For some reason, when people are designing new housing estates they like to make them as hard to get around as possible. Google maps is often your friend here, but for those estates that are so brand new the roads don't exist on satellite maps yet, it's a fun few minutes of slow driving, spot-the-road-sign and three point turns. Roads that spontaneously turn into building sites are my favourite!

4. Other drivers may hate you.

This usually comes down to driving slowly or parking in places you shouldn't park. I feel like a jerk every time I park on double yellow lines, in front of someone's driveway or on a corner, but if the customer must live in an awkward place, then I must park in awkward place. At least I put my hazards on!

5. Don't forget the drinks!

Weirdly (or at least I thought), not that many people order drinks with their food. It's rare, then, when you have them in the bag on a delivery, so me being me (memory like a sieve, mind like a goldfish etc. etc.) I always forget they're there. I gave up counting the times I got back to the shop and realised with a groan and a bash of my head on the steering wheel that the drinks are still in that pesky front pocket you hardly ever use. Your options are head inside, say you forgot them and go back, or speed away like a boy racer and deliver them before the customer or your boss notices. The latter usually works out pretty well.

6. There is never enough change.

I have £20 worth of change stashed in my car. A mixture of £5 notes and at least four of every coin from £2 to 10p. It's usually enough. Except when you head out on 3 deliveries at once and all of them require more than £5 change and you definitely don't have enough. I either hope people give me the exact money or I have loose change in my purse stashed somewhere in the back of the car. Also, no matter how careful you are, you will never have £20 at the end of the night. Less or more, you always somehow lose track of the basic change.

7. Tips are your new best friend.

There a good days delivery driving, and there are bad days. The best days are when 80% or more of your customers are in a good mood - a good enough one to smile and give you tips! Sometimes it's something as little as 10p ("keep the change") or people give you an extra £2 on top of the money for food. Any tips is good tips! You can rack up an extra £40-£50 a week which easily covers your petrol costs or gives you some extra cash to squirrel away in savings. Tips = always a win.

8. Food will spill.

This is inevitable. You could strap it in with six seat belts and something will still spill over. It doesn't happen often, but when it does you want to cry because it's pretty heartbreaking. Nobody likes to lose food. You dread either an angry customer or an angry chef. You hope for neither, and most often you're fine. Doesn't stop that big puddle of sweet and sour sauce in the bottom of the bag from taunting you, though...

9. Your mental maths will improve drastically.

I'm not disastrous at maths, but it's never been my strong suit. Figuring out the change has massively improved this. At the drop of a hat I can now tell you the change the £27.60, £24.30, £35.90 etc. etc. Considering you need to not only know the change for if someone gives you a round £40 for a bill of £30.50, but for if they give you £31, £32 or £35, I'm relatively impressed with my newfound maths skills!

10. Hydration, hydration, hydration!

Water is one of the four elements for a reason! Driving is tiring and hard on the eyes, and if you're a glasses wearer like me it can be just that little bit worse. A bottle of water (or two, or three) in the car can be a life saver. In the height of summer, you can go through upwards of four bottles in an evening. The need to pee is a far better struggle to live with than that pounding headache!

Have you ever been a delivery driver? Would you ever become one?